daddy

I'm sorry.
Time has past and I'd grown. You don't know me anymore. You don't know my favorite song, my favorite food or drink; you don't even know what my favorite color is. Do you even know in what grade I am? Or at which school I’m in? Can you still remember my birthday? 11th October. Last year you didn't call, you didn't text, you just forgot. It makes me sad, very sad - to be honest. I wish you knew me better. I wish you cared. It has been about seven years since you saw me. I'm a different person now. I'm not a child anymore; I'm not the little girl you left behind.
You say you try to know me but I don't let you, I'm sorry, but I think that is not true. I try to talk to you and make you understand my points of view but you don't accept them or don’t understand them. I wish we could speak more often and I could talk to you like I talk to my friends... but I can't. I can't talk to you like I do with them because we don't have the same connection. I can't talk to you like I do with my mom because she talks to me everyday, she knows about all my glories and fails. She holds me when I'm sad, she helps me when I need, she is there 24/7. You aren't. I wish you were. I wish we were more connected not only by DNA but heart-to-heart. I wish you've been here all along. I wish you knew me like anybody else. I wish you were my daddy all the time. I wish you support me in all my choices. I wish you were more than a parent, I wish you were my friend.
Now it's late. You don't know your daughter and it's getting harder to do it. I'm tired, I'm sad and I wish things were different. You are and will always be my daddy, no matter what, but you could have been more than that. You’ve lost your chance… time doesn’t stop and I keep living my life without you next to me.
Maybe one day we’ll talk and try to know each other better. Maybe we’ll be together in New York, drink a capuccino and be happy. Mean while we’ll just keep our distance and let life go on…
And, I’m sorry. I know I could be easier and I could call you or write you often but you could do it too. I’m sorry I’m not the best daughter in the whole world.
I’m really sorry, dad.
I hope you understand my words.
I love you too, I really do.