crush?!

Yesterday I was talking to my best-(girl)friend and we were talking about you. It was so hard for me to explain which feelings I believe I’m developing for you that it almost killed me inside. But she’s the best, btw, and she helped me through. I’ve been thinking about us and your friendship. I believe that we have more than a simple friendship. I mean, we spend a lot time together, we trust each other like in no one else. Together we cried, we moan, we laughed, and we hugged. We’re always hugging and when you hold me I feel safer than ever. I feel secure. When you kiss my cheek it tickles me inside. I love being your friend. Your best friend. And I love having you as a best friend. Sometimes I ask myself if I’m not messing it up. If it’s not only my imagination and I’m confusing friendship with ‘love’. But, I’ve been in love and it was not even closer to what I feel for you. I believe this is a crush. Everyone keeps telling me that we’re perfect for each other. Everyone keeps asking me about you and saying stuff about us. I think I’m going crazy. I’m afraid and I can’t talk about it with you and it just breaks my heart. I’m afraid. I don’t want to mess things up. I don’t want to lose you. I don’t want to love you or to have a crush on you. I want everyone to shut the hell up and leave me alone. I want you to be happy. I want you to have the girl that you love and I want that she makes you happy. I wish you could have everything in the world and if I could I’d carry on your every single load. I want you NOT to freak out if you ever read this. And may be you’re reading this and this isn’t even for you it’s for someone else. Who’d known? I’m just going to ask you one single thing - Don’t you ever leave me. Think and stay. This will go away. You don’t need to worry, I just needed to spell things out.

I’m sorry if this is not what you wanted to read.